How to make my parents laugh

This past weekend David and I stayed with Dad and Audrey while we attended the Contemporary American Theater Festival in nearby Shepherdstown.*


As Dad and I were sitting around catching up, he told me a bit about the skin graft that he had to deal with a wound on his leg. Typical of Dad's sense of humor he told me that he told the nurses that they were ruining his once perfect body, since the graft would leave scars on both the wound site and the donation site.


"Huh." I replied. "So I know this means that we can't show you any more. Can we still breed you?"


And we were greatly amused by each other and proved - again - that while I look just like my Mom, I am still related to my father.




* Highlight for this festival?  Discovering I was sitting next to David Remedios, the sound designer for two of the shows.  And then watching him not even flinch, let alone turn around and kill, the patron who spent the first five minutes of the show we were watching (not one he designed, but even so) slowly and loudly open something wrapped in cellophane.

I am my father's daughter

"I often don't know what I think until I've heard what I have to say."


from a This I Believe essay that Daddy wrote this year.  

This might not be as easy as I thought

Listing to Power Breakfast on NPR in the morning means that at least once a day I mutter "self-serving jerks" about our elected officials. Probably not what Elizabeth Wynne Johnson has in mind as she broadcasts this daily snippet of what the powerful and corrupted are doing, but that's what I'm always left with.

I have voted in every election in which I was eligible and I don't really want to stop now, but the major parties and their corporate owners don't offer anything better politically than Burger King offer nutritionally, so I don't really want to play with them any more.

It has occurred to me that there is at least one party out there that a) seems to agree with some of things that I find important, and b) has neither the money nor the power to annoy me nearly as much as the behemoths do. Heck, I don't think I've ever heard them even mentioned on "Power Breakfast," which may be a good sign.

So I've decided to start voting for the Green Party. I have voted for their candidates before, but I've decided to make them my default. It's similar to Brett's "vote against the incumbent" policy, possibly, in that it includes a certain "please go away" message to people who have learned that their real job is to get re-elected.  Besides, I've long thought that a viable third (and even fourth) party would be our best chance of maintaining a genuine representative democracy.

However, there is a small difficulty. I went to the website for Maryland's Green Party yesterday in order check out the candidates for 2010 and beyond and I got this message:

WANT TO RUN FOR OFFICE?

If you would like to run for office as a member of the Green Party, please call 443-449-4159.

That's right: the the independent restaurant of politics seem currently to have no candidates.  Or no menu to continue the metaphor.  I hope they have some candidates very soon because I really don't need or want another Double Down.


King: What means this most unmannerly irruption?
Is this your gratitude for boons conferred?

Scaphio: Boons? Bah! A fico for such boons, say we!
These boons have brought Utopia to a standstill!
Our pride and boast--the Army and the Navy--
Have both been reconstructed and remodeled
Upon so irresistible a basis
That all the neighboring nations have disarmed--
And War's impossible! Your County Councillor
Has passed such drastic Sanitary laws
That all doctors dwindle, starve, and die!
The laws, remodeled by Sir Bailey Barre,
Have quite extinguished crime and litigation:
The lawyers starve, and all the jails are let
As model lodgings for the working-classes!
In short--Utopia, swamped by dull Prosperity,
Demands that these detested Flowers of Progress
Be sent about their business, and affairs
Restored to their original complexion!

King: (to Zara) My daughter, this is a very unpleasant state of things. What is to be done?

Zara: I don't know--I don't understand it. We must have omitted something.

King: Omitted something? Yes, that's all very well, but--- (Sir Bailey Barre whispers to Zara.)

Zara: (suddenly) Of course! Now I remember! Why, I had forgotten the most essential element of all!

King: And that is?---

Zara: Government by Party! Introduce that great and glorious element--at once the bulwark and foundation of England's greatness--and all will be well! No political measures will endure, because one Party will assuredly undo all that the other Party has done; and while grouse is to be shot, and foxes worried to death, the legislative action of the country will be at a standstill. Then there will be sickness in plenty, endless lawsuits, crowded jails, interminable confusion in the Army and Navy, and, in short, general and unexampled prosperity!

W. S. Gilbert, "Utopia, Limited"

Catalog Living

Suddenly I can't wait for David's next Crate and Barrel catalog to arrive.

Catalog Living

Quinn has a similar relationship with the Lily Pulitzer catalog, as I recall.

Chocolate?

It is possible that one of our staffers didn't use this as his model, but as he gives me a Hershey bar whenever I do a favor for him, I have my suspicions ...

Chocolate?

I think I celebrated this wrong

Last night I stopped in a the Forum Theater season preview* and then walked home, stopping on the way at Baskin Robbins for a scoop of Daiquiri Ice sorbet. Yum....


It turns out that I could have honored the soltice better:

Prime Minister Valdis Dombrovskis (New Era) wishes all residents of Latvia a joyful "Ligo!" Midsummer holiday, LETA** was informed by Liga Krapane, the prime minister's press secretary.


The leader of the government wishes each person who celebrates the holiday an unforgettable feeling on Midsummer's Night while waiting around the bonfire singing "Ligo!" songs and waiting for the sunrise.


"The longest day and the shortest night, the bonfire, garlands, floral crowns, songs, cheese and a tankard of beer. This all belongs to the summer solstice, the celebration of which is an ancient and fundamental Latvian tradition. We are proud of this, and generation to generation we preserve it," said Dombrovskis in his festive greeting.


At the same time, he calls for the public to act responsibly towards themselves and those around them during the long holidays, so that this celebration will leave only positive and bright memories without tragedy or unpleasant consequences.

*Note to working actor - I wasn't planning to tear you away from your friends, merely to ask if you are rehearsing anything I should plan to see. But, alas, you couldn't give me a few seconds of your time, so that ticket is going unsold, isn't it?


*Not Leta = me, but LETA = the Latvian news agency. But wouldn't that be cool? If the prime minister's press secretary called me up and told me stuff like this?

Why I blog

For years I have contemplated telling this story, and for years I have put off telling it. While I have delayed, my memory has not improved, and my recollections of the past are more hazy and fragmentary than when it first occurred to me that one day I might write them down.

...although I was at one time conscientious and diligent enough in keeping a diary, I kept it for use at the moment, not for future reference.... It had become a bursting, groaning dust-bin of information, for the most part useless.

About six years ago I moved into a smaller house in London, and I burnt a great many of my earlier diaries as unmovable rubbish. The few passages which I shall quote in this book from those which escaped destruction will prove that my bonfire meant no great loss!

Still, when it was suggested to me in the year of my stage jubilee that I ought to write down my recollections, I longed for those diaries! I longed for anything which would remind me of the past and make it live again for me. I was frightened. Something would be expected of me, since I could not deny that I had had an eventful life packed full of incident, and that by the road I had met many distinguished and interesting men and women. I could not deny that I had been fifty years on the stage, and that this meant enough material for fifty books, if only the details of every year could be faithfully told. But it is not given to all of us to see our lives in relief as we look back. Most of us, I think, see them in perspective, of which our birth is the vanishing point. Seeing, too, is only half the battle. How few people can describe what they see!

...For weeks I had hesitated between Othello's "Nothing extenuate, nor write down aught in malice," and Pilate's "What is truth?" as my guide and my apology. Now I saw that both were too big for my modest endeavor. I was not leaving a human document for the benefit of future psychologists and historians, but telling as much of my story as I could remember to the good, living public which has been considerate and faithful to me for so many years.

From The Story of My Life, Recollections and Reflections by Ellen Terry with thanks to Sam for sharing it as Savoynet discussed how much reliance to have on memoirs written in a subject's later years.

Nominated

Back in November, David and I took a trip up to New York to spend Thanksgiving with my cousin. Normally, he and his girlfriend come south to stay at my Dad's but my cousin got a job working sound for a show which was scheduled to open right around the Autumn harvest holiday.

So we had a lovely Thanksgiving Dinner in their new apartment and on Friday we saw the show he was working. We took up most of a row and the famous director/choreographer was in attendance the night were there. Very exciting!

Fela! is bright and energetic and got lots of good buzz after we saw it (including an interview on The Daily Show for Bill T. Jones), playing to good houses even in a down economy.

On Saturday David and I went to see The Royal Family, one of my favorite pieces of "antique theater," which was then in revival in a lavish production at the Samuel J. Friedman Theater.

It was a wonderful theater weekend and I enjoyed both shows thoroughly. And, it seems, I wasn't the only one: Both have been nominated for multiple Tony Awards in both performance and technical categories and both were nominated for the top honor in their discipline: Best Musical (Fela!) and Best Revival of a Play (The Royal Family).

Like Ko-Ko, I am always very glad to hear my opinion backed by a competent authority.

Because I relate everything to theater anyway

At Bridget's grandmother's funeral, I told her something that had occurred to me during the mass.  And I don't know what it says about either of us that we both found it both comforting and rather cheering.

"When your grandmother passed away, her show closed. And this is the closing night party where we talk about what a great show it was."

The devil you know

At the read-thru for Stone Soup last night I noticed one of the cast - one of the ones who had worked with me before - looking at my oddly.

"You're remembering what a ding-a-ling I can be, aren't you?" I asked.

His lips said "no, no," but his eyes were definitely saying "yes, yes."

I'll see you and raise you

Me: I got two paper cuts doing that mailing. I'm going to file for Workers' Comp.
My Boss: Paper cuts, huh? That sounds self-inflicted to me. We'll put you on report.
Me: Fine. I'll see your self-inflicted wound and raise you a hostile work environment.
My boss: Oh, really? Then we can make this a very hostile environment for you.

It's not for nothing that I studied the fine art of Retaliation & Escalation under Brett. But it seems that my Boss may have taken a similar curriculum.

What he doesn't understand

It's not that David isn't entitled to half of his own bed when I stay over, it's that my half happens to be in the center.

Jeepers Creepers

At brunch this morning, I kept staring at the guy at the next table. Sure, he was pretty cute, but that wasn't what drew my eye to him over and over.

I whispered to Malinda that the guy at the next table was probably noticing that I was staring, but check out those glasses! As if on cue, he looked directly at me, smiled, and wiggled his glasses at me.

Clearly, I wasn't the first. I doubt I'll be the last.

In a nutshell

But that was a very, very long time ago and I'd like to tell you that I'm better but all I am is older.

Quinn Cummings

Clearly, I have been abducted by aliens

Or eaten by bears. Or something.

I saw 4 plays in March. 4. I normally see about 10 plays each month.

Yeah, last March I saw 5 plays, but I was in a show that opened on the 20th, so those last two weekends didn't lend themselves to me seeing other plays. We also had rehearsals most Friday nights and every Sunday.

I was so surprised at that 4 that I looked back over the past year.* Between March 2009 and February 2010, I saw 121 plays:

February 2010 - 8

January - 8

December 2009 - 6

November - 16

October - 9

September - 9

August - 12

July - 9

June - 13

May - 13

April - 13

March 5

*Yes. I keep track of what plays I see. Of course I do.

Passover haiku

It is - in my mind - Andy's haiku because I learned it from him.

Left the door open

So Elijah could come in

Now the cat is gone.

From Haikus for Jews

Veris me facies

"Leta - that's a pretty name. What does it mean?"

"It's Latin for 'joyful'."

And my face is pretty joyful that spring is here.

Veris Leta Facies

from the Carmina Burana by Carl Orff

Veris leta facies
mundo propinatur,
hiemalis acies
victa iam fugatur,
in vestitu vario
Flora principatur,
nemorum dulcisono
que cantu celebratur.

Flore fusus gremio
Phebus novo more
risum dat, hac vario
iam stipate flore.
Zephyrus nectareo
spirans in odore.
Certatim pro bravio
curramus in amore.

Cytharizat cantico
dulcis Philomena,
flore rident vario
prata iam serena,
salit cetus avium
silve per amena,
chorus promit virgin
iam gaudia millena.

The joyful face of spring

turns to the world,

sharp winter

now flees, vanquished;

bedecked in various colours

Flora reigns,

the harmony of the woods

praises her in song.

Ah!

Lying in Flora's lap

Phoebus once more

smiles, now covered

in multi-coloured flowers,

Zephyr breathes nectar-

scented breezes.

Let us rush to compete

for love's prize.

Ah!

In harp-like tones sings

the sweet nightingale,

with many flowers

the joyous meadows are laughing,

a flock of birds rises up

through the pleasant forests,

the chorus of maidens

already promises a thousand joys.

Ah!

How to clean out your e-mail inbox

Sort by subject.

Delete everything with the subject titles Dinner; Lunch; Opps - now attached; Today; and Tonight.

Another target-rich area, of course, is the ones starting with You and Your.

Boy, that's handy

I bought an iPod Touch from one of my co-workers and being just a little too cheap to buy expensive apps for it, I have only acquired the free ones. As it turns out, one of them has come in very handy lately. I recommend it highly.

It's called Flashlight and it makes the screen a very bright white (or blue or red or green or black* or any custom color). During The Laramie Project there are long stretches when I am sitting quietly, Stage Left, on the lip of the stage. So if anyone is missing from rehearsal, I read in their parts because ... well, I because I love read parts. So I sit there with the script on my lap and as we are at that point in the process where it goes randomly dark while lighting is being tested or adjusted or set, I keep the iPod Touch with me and use Flashlight to read in the missing lines. It's also helpful when someone needs a little assist on the escape stairs. Definitely handy. I'm glad I have it.

And it's also nice that I have Freecell. Which casts a light, too. I'm just sayin' ...


*I have no idea about the black, but I admit that I am intrigued by the idea of a black flashlight.

Sometimes I do say the right thing

Which contrasts nicely with so much of the rest of my conversation. Although my friends generally seem to agree that my usually kind intentions often cancel out any infelicitous phrasing.

But every now and then I do say the right thing, which pleases me greatly and which is possibly why my friends are still willing to ask me for advice. Or perhaps they just enjoy the Magic 8 Ball experience of "What Will Leta Say This Time?"

I don't remember if I have "documented" these here before, so stop me if these sound familiar ....*

# One
Some years ago Friend #1 was considering proposing to his girlfriend. We had dinner and he told me this but wondered if it was the right thing to do.

"Absolutely. You should ask her to marry you."
"But I don't have any money."**
"Yeah, but you've never had any money."
"Thanks."
"No, what I mean is that if money, per se, were important to her, she wouldn't be with you now."
"But I can't afford a ring."
"All she will hear when you propose is that you want to spend your life with her. Really. Give her a cigar band now and buy her a real ring in the future."

They got married and have been living happily ever after. And his sister, when she heard this story from him, promptly went upstairs and got their mother's ring from her jewelry box and gave it to him. So no cigar band was required.

# Two
Friend #2 also had a proposal dilemma. He wanted to propose to his girlfriend but as his field might require relocating a few times until he was sufficiently established and her field didn't have as general a possible practice area, he was concerned that marrying him would have a negative effect on her career. Or that they might have to be a long-distance couple. Or, etc.

"Marry her. If you love each other enough, crossing the country for each other is not too much of a problem. If you don't crossing the street is too much effort."
"Really?"
"Absolutely. Deciding to build a life together is what's important. The rest is just logistics."

And they are married and living happily ever after ... ***

#Three
I was standing on the stage at the WATCH awards a week ago and the friend standing next to me was listening to his name get mispronounced. More than once.

"Should I correct it when I get to the mic?" he asked me, sotto very voce.
"Well, [previous MC] mispronounced my name for five years running," I murmured back.
"Okay. I'll let it go."

Yep, sometimes in the midst of the nonsense the Magic 8 Ball gives the right answer.


*My having told them to you in person several times doesn't count.
**We were young and poor back then. We're middle-aged and poor now. Me because I am completely incompetent financially, him because this is a rotten economy.
***As you can see, I think that people in love should get married. "This is true love - you think this happens every day?" says it well. So, more darkly, does "You truly love each other and so you might have been truly happy. Not one couple in a century has that chance, no matter what the story books say." both from The Princess Bride