Thank Goodness it wasn't drugs ... or jazz and liquor

It was the peer pressure, I know it was.

I went to a WATCH meeting on Sunday and, as is usual for the April meeting, we elected new officers. Officers serve for two years and we are only required to have three: Chair, Treasurer, and Secretary.

Kye-Won started the meeting by asking for nominations to replace the outgoing officers and the room got really quiet. Really quiet. You could see people studying the faux grain in the table-top. We were very close to all tunelessly whistling and staring around with big "who, me?"eyes.

Let's be clear here - the people attending the meeting are all responsible grown-ups (plus me). We serve on the boards of our own theater companies, we are representatives to the WATCH program which means overseeing our five judges and X alternates, many of us produce (i.e., are the producers for shows, which in community theater doesn't mean drinking expense account Martinis, yelling fake endearments into our cell phones, and calling everyone "Babe." It means being the responsible adult for the show - lining up staff, getting things done, arriving early and leaving late, and making sure there are the fewest number possible of cracks for things to fall through.) We all also direct and/or act. Many of us have children. Our schedules are pretty full and none of us needs more to do.

So, as I say, the room was quiet. For a long time.

Kye-Won would make an excellent interrogator because she just let the silence stretch out. Finally, Bailey agreed to be the Treasurer. Out of the goodness of his heart and not because he actually believed that the Treasurer "only has to write some checks." Uh huh. Sure.

More silence.

I offered that as the Adjudication Coordinator for 2006, I already have a job. Everyone agreed that this was true.

More silence.

I don't remember if Todd cracked first or if I did. But obviously neither of us should get involved in criminal enterprise because we just couldn't take it anymore.

Todd acts (he's cast in ESP's Dinner with Friends), he directs, he's on ESP's Board, he's the webmaster for at least three different theater organizations (including WATCH), he has a full-time job, and his wife is pregnant. With their first child. Todd is our new Chair.

I have a calendar that is seven colors right now. I'm the upcoming Adjudication Coordinator. I'm performing in Independence, I've been cast in Round and Round the Garden, I'm directing a one-act for the NVTA festival, I'm on the Stage's board, I have a mother who likes to see me (ever) .... And yet..... And yet I heard my voice saying "Okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay. I don't want to do this. And I'm going to have a drinking probem one day. But I'll be Secretary... I drink Scotch."

"She drinks single-malt." Judy helpfully supplied.

Being Secretary isn't so bad. The job largely consists of taking attendance and minutes at the meetings and distributing said minutes to the rest of the board. Too bad I hate taking minutes.

You know, if I didn't provide Todd with a review copy of the minutes before I distribute them, it would be fun to include "let's see if they read this far" stuff, like "Looking rather fetching in his show T-shirt Todd suggested..." or "An obviously drunken Mary Beth proposed.." (Just to be clear, while Todd frequently looks rather fetching, I've never seen Mary Beth even tipsy. I just like the image.)

And, of course, taking minutes is simply the best possible way to demonstrate to the board how poorly I grasp any given issue. They already know that I haver, but I was hoping to keep the whole poor grasp of the issues thing as non-public knowledge. Oh well.

Respectfully submitted

Leta, Secretary for WATCH