03 May 2007

Or, perhaps, "nice rack"

You Are a Flawless Beauty!

When it comes to beauty, you spare no expense - and it shows
You're the kind of woman a man would launch a thousand ships for
It's hard for anyone to beat you in the beauty department
But remember, it's okay to show a flaw or too - you've got plenty to spare

Uh huh. Sure. I'm sure that everyone will buy into this one. Of course, after what happened this morning, maybe it's true.

I got on the elevator today wearing an outfit I'm rather fond of that involves a spiffy red top with a reasonably low scooped neckline. The woman riding with me was probably in her 60s and English isn't her first language. It sounded to me as though she were speaking some dialect of French, but I could be very wrong here. Anyway, she leaned over, poked me in the chest right below the collar bone and said something that included two words that I understood: "very nice."

As I say, I think the rest of it was in a French dialect, so as I was about to ask if she spoke French - and the very way that "Parlez-vous Fran├žais?" comes out of my mouth alerts genuine Francophones that I am not of their number and encourages them to speak back to me very slowly - the elevator opened and another woman got on. The first woman then said something else which may have contained the word "belle," another one I understand.

I smiled and said "merci" as she got off of the elevator. After all, I didn't heard her say "putain," so I wasn't thanking her for calling me a whore. Then I turned to the second woman and said "I think that she gave me a compliment, but I don't know she said."

The second woman smiled and said that the first woman had said that I was very beautiful. And her smile - for your information - was sincere and there was no insulting pause before "very beautiful."

So it may have been an accurate translation and it may not, but whatever, who cares, because it perked up my day.

Oh, and here's one I consider a bit more likely. It helped that I changed that answer about attracting trust-fund Yalies.

You Are a Classic Beauty!

You have a timeless beauty that looks great in every decade
Instead following trends, you stick to what works
And this means you never skimp on your beauty routine
Upside? Your classic looks tends to attract gentlemen - not boys.

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