27 June 2011

Kitchen Rules

Everybody's office has different kitchen rules.  Here are a couple of ours:

Today someone put a cake in the kitchen at work and our controller and I found it.  He wasn't sure what the deal was but I pointed out that the presence of plates, forks, and no sign saying "Can't Touch This" meant that the cake was being shared.  I also told him that it was up to him to take the first piece.  Someone had to start the darn thing and we know that because it's filled with gluten, I can't.

He was convinced that this was some kind of trap.  I promised him that if it were not meant to be shared, it wouldn't be unguarded in the kitchen.  C'mon, engineers work here. College interns.  Those folks can strip an entire box of donuts in a few seconds.

So I said that if he started the cake and anyone gave him any crap, he could refer them to me.  "I got your back. I'll explain."  "You'll say you never said any such thing."  "Exactly.  I might even say that I'd never met you."

He started the cake.  We found out later that it was leftover from a birthday party the evening before and intended for general consumption.

Rule #1:  Food left unguarded is for sharing.  Candy you don't want to share should be kept on your side of the computer screen or in a desk drawer.  Anything out in the open is intended for all.

Rule #2:  You move your feet ...  Most frozen entrees require heating, stirring, and more heating.  A lot of people put their food in for the first three minutes and then wander off.  I know I do.  We have a "move your feet you lose your seat" approach to the microwave.  If the microwave dinged for my food and you're waiting to heat your food, take mine out, put it on the top of the microwave, and put yours in.  Sometimes new people hover near the microwave, reluctant to mess with someone else's lunch, but we quickly enough train them to our ways.

I don't know how other kitchens work but I've been working here so long I don't think that I could change my ways.


Anonymous said...

When putting out a snack, such as a cake, I always "wound" it, i.e., make it obvious that someone has taken a piece, to encourage others. Otherwise, no one touches it. It's odd, and I'm sure someone's going to do a study on it, someday. Gwyn

Maureen said...

Your office kitchen rules sound like the ones for almost every office I've worked in that had a kitchen, or at least appliances (fridge, microwave, coffee maker).

Do you also have rules about what must NEVER be microwaved? One place I worked had strict prohibitions against microwaving any kind of fish and, inexplicably, brussels sprouts.