Egg noggy goodness

Maureen and I are on the same off-topic list for G&S geeks, SavoyNot, wherein she asked the other day if one could cook or bake with egg nog.

Yes. Yes, one can.

(At this point, the screen should get that wavy thing going on that would happen in 60s and 70s sit-coms to indicate a flash back. If yours isn't doing that, check with your ISP and request the Flashback patch.)

Many years ago, when Brett and I were renting rooms from Chort, Stacey (Brett's sister) came to visit from Hawaii for Christmas. I hadn't met her before, but she seemed very nice and she put up with my mindless prattle and puppy-like friendliness, so we got along fine. Anyway, one morning I was making breakfast - muffins, scrambled eggs, probably bacon, the usual sort of weekend breakfast fare - and realized that we were out of milk. Thinking quickly, if not necessarily clearly, I figured that as egg nog is pretty much just gussied up milk, I could substitute it for the missing cow juice.

Stacey and I were the only ones up at that point and she was keeping me company while I cooked. (Being from Hawaii, she was also - if I remember correctly - quietly freezing.) She didn't raise any objections to the egg nog, so I figured it would be okay to use it.

In those days, Brett's description of how to make scrambled eggs was to break some eggs into a bowl, whisk in some milk, add this mixture to a pan with hot butter, and as the eggs were setting, start adding cheese. Keep adding cheese. Then maybe a little more cheese. This was not because Brett was such a huge fan of cheese (although who isn't?) but because he didn't much care for the taste of eggs.

So I made the egg noggy muffins and while they were in the oven, I made the egg noggy scrambled eggs. All of which tasted just fine to me, in fact, egg nog in muffins is really quite nice, especially if one likes a little zip of nutmeg in one's muffins.

Brett came downstairs and the three of us ate in companionable silence, largely because Brett was not Mr. Morning in those days and I would repress my normal chatter from some kind of sense of basic humanity. The aforementioned companionable silence was broken when Brett mentioned that the eggs had a rather --- odd --- taste and that he couldn't get that taste out of his mouth even when he followed it with some muffin.

At which point two things happened: Stacey started to smile pretty much exactly like the Grinch at the point in the story when he gets his wonderful, awful idea and I began cheerfully explaining my culinary stop-gap. I kept eating because, evidently, I like the taste of nutmeg in my eggs, but Brett put down his fork and decided that a Dr. Pepper would be breakfast enough that day.

It seems that while eggs are a dish best served hot, revenge is still a dish best served cold.

Some years before this particular breakfast, when Stacey, Brett, and their Dad all lived together each of them was responsible for making dinner every third day or so. One night Brett wanted to go hang out with his friends and was informed that until he had finished making dinner for his loving parent and adoring sister, he was a prisoner of the kitchen. So he finished making their dinners and fled.

When he returned, it was to find said parent and sister waiting for him in the living room with visions of mayhem dancing in their heads because their hamburgers contained - besides, ground beef, salt, and pepper - a fairly large portion of cinnamon. Brett claimed it was unintentional, but his family never really believed him and Stacey knew that time was on her side. Eventually fate would deliver vengeance into her hands. Vengeance, it seems, thy name is Leta. Or possibly egg nog, I'm not quite sure.

So, the short answer is yes, use the left over egg nog for anything that requires milk and will be improved with dash of nutmeg or allspice. For Brett's sake, perhaps it should be omitted from scambled eggs.