Richard Jeni (1957 - 2007)

Long years ago, when Mollie, Katy, and I were housemates, Katy found a Showtime special that she taped and said that we had to see. This guy, Richard Jeni, was so funny, she said, that we just had to see him. That is usually the preview to seeing something that leaves you totally cold, but Katy was right. We laughed until our stomachs hurt and we near memorized Boy from New York City. We can still crack each other up with a well-timed Richard Jeni quote.

I got to see him in person doing one of his appearances in DC and he was every bit as funny in person as on tv, if not more so. (I have also been able to see Jake Johannsen and Paula Poundstone live, which gives you a nice cross section of the sort of humor that I like.)

One of my favorites of his bits was his description of "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" as the most depressing song ever written: "Want to end a party really fast? Own this record." And he would sing his own lyics to it, like And they lay on the deck/ and they all drowned like rats/ as their lungs filled with water. Which is still making me laugh, even as I read it now.

So it was with sadness that I got home this evening and learned that he died yesterday. The news reports say self-inflicted gun shot, which is even sadder, although I don't know why I think that. Being dead at 49 is sad no matter how one got there.

So here - because he still makes me laugh - are some of Richard's quotes, thanks to Wikipedia.

"My mother never saw the irony of calling me a son of a bitch."

"The way I see life, it's like we're all flying on the Hindenburg, why fight over the window seats?"

“I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough, let's go west.'”

"It is a sad fact that 50 percent of marriages in this country end in divorce. But hey, the other half end in death. You could be one of the lucky ones!"

"Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in."

(On going to war over religion:) "You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend."

"The Web brings people together because no matter what kind of a twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you've got millions of pals out there. Type in 'Find people that have sex with goats that are on fire'and the computer will say, 'Specify type of goat.'"

"There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you're anxious to meet people who do."

"The difference between Charles Manson and every woman I've dated is that Manson has the decency to look like a nut the first time you meet him."

"Imagine my surprise when it turned out the main thing that I was qualified for was to get another degree and teach Political Science to other people, who would, in turn, teach it to other people! This wasn't higher education, this was Amway with a football team!"