Maybe this will work

You know how it goes. You update a form and distribute it, asking people to delete the previous version. Except that they don't. They keep using the old form which is exactly the sort of negligence that could bring American business to the point of total collapse. You redistribute the form and ask again but with no better luck.

We have a couple of forms here that have been updated a few times but some folks are just stubborn, I guess, and are always at least one version behind. Well, if they won't do their bit to save the American economy, maybe they'll cooperate in order to save the planet. Here's the e-mail I sent to a couple of folks yesterday:

Here is the most current [name of form deleted to be on the safe side] form. It's newer and shinier than the old one. It's a thing of beauty and a joy until we revise it again some time in the future.

Using the old form will increase global warming* and may possibly allow dangerous levels of both carbon and ozone, not to mention CFCs, to be released into the atmosphere. Using the new form will reduce our carbon footprint in the future.

Please dispose of the old form properly. Please use the new form.

If this doesn't work, I may have to take stronger action, although I don't know what that might be right now. Maybe I'll report them to the Department Homeland Security because using the old form doesn't help keep Americans safe the way that using the new form does.


*And you're probably wondering how a form that is an electronic document could have any kind of carbon emissions, but don't spend too much time thinking about that. Just nod and smile.