Brett, Bill, and I have been following the breaking news on the whole "Chef takes picture of big, ugly spider what bit him" story. As astute followers of world news will remember, Matthew Stevens was tidying up his pub and grabbed a washcloth which turned out to be pre-loaded with a Brazilian Wandering Spider that bit him. Twice.
I'm not afraid of spiders, but the Brazilian Wandering Psycho Spider would give anyone pause. It's very large, very aggressive, and very poisonous. This particular spider is thought to be a banana box stowaway. I've decided to call him Frankie.
Anyway, thinking that Frankie was dead and that his friends would never believe how huge it had been, Chef Stevens took a picture of it with his camera phone. (Because enourmous biting spiders are apparently just like the fish that got away in England, I guess. Guys sit around in pubs and swap lies about the size of the arachnid and how it ate a dog and was coming for the guy, but he grabbed a stick and .....whatever....). I can just picture the caption: The spider that bit me. See edges of the Aga cooker, behind spider, for scale.
As it turns out having friends who think you make stuff like that up can actually save your life because the folks at the hospital were cavalierly dismissing his dizziness and shaking until he showed them the picture and they checked with spider experts.
The spider was collected and brought to the hospital when he went back for Visit Number 2 wherein our hero returns to the hospital just to prove that yuh-huh, this is too a problem because by then his hand had swollen to the size of a balloon....
Well. In today’s update, some kind-hearted soul at the hospital released the little thug into the garden. I recommend reading the whole story. And evacuating England (and Scotland) immediately.
My favorite part is that said spider is alive and well after being frozen, boiled, and then microwaved. The hospital is claiming that the nasty little thing will die due to the balmy British spring climate. Yeah, right. If it didn't kill the Norsemen, Frankie should be just fine for months to come. (Brett - save Cate and Charles. Bring them home now.)
A Google search will provide all the details, plus lots of pictures of Frankie, and a push-pin map of England showing Frankie's trail of victims.
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2 comments:
Do you know why it's called the Wandering Spider?
The Brazilian beast is so fast and deadly, it doesn't *bother* to spin a web on the jungle floor. It just finds prey (small mammals), chases it down, pounces, and enjoys a tasty lunch. Hence the name.
If memory serves, the Wanderer is also the deadliest spider... can't be sure about that part.
HA. One blogger called it "the Rasputin of Spiders". Now that's funny. They share Leta's doubts about London's climate doing the impervious little fiend any damage...
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