The successful Celiac checklist
It turns out that there are three things that one needs to be good at this Celiac Disease thing. Pity that I pretty much have none of them.
1. Lots of time. If one eats on the run, as I do on my way to rehearsals and performances and the like, one will often end up having french fries for dinner. I'm sure that there are many talented individuals who can eat salad while they drive, but I am not one of them. As the amount of available time goes down, the heathful aspect of my diet follows right along. (And, you know, I really believe that fact that I can't have pretzels but I can have potato chips and that I'm eating much more candy and french fries than I used to and I'm still loosing weight sends the wrong message to America's youth.)
2. Lots of money. There are gluten free products and they are more expensive than the much better tasting regular one. The few prepared items that I can buy don't go on sale as often. Apparently, gluten is used in nearly every damn thing because it magically reduces the cost to prepare. Wheat, the real alkahest, which reduces various ingredients to their basic essence, money.
3. Great eyesight. Reading teeny-tiny type (about 6 point Ariel on a red background - yes, I checked) makes grocery shopping for someone with a contact lenses prescription as elderly as mine a really frustrating activity. Why is my contact lens 'scrip so old? See #2, supra.
bitch and moan, bitch and moan.....
1. Lots of time. If one eats on the run, as I do on my way to rehearsals and performances and the like, one will often end up having french fries for dinner. I'm sure that there are many talented individuals who can eat salad while they drive, but I am not one of them. As the amount of available time goes down, the heathful aspect of my diet follows right along. (And, you know, I really believe that fact that I can't have pretzels but I can have potato chips and that I'm eating much more candy and french fries than I used to and I'm still loosing weight sends the wrong message to America's youth.)
2. Lots of money. There are gluten free products and they are more expensive than the much better tasting regular one. The few prepared items that I can buy don't go on sale as often. Apparently, gluten is used in nearly every damn thing because it magically reduces the cost to prepare. Wheat, the real alkahest, which reduces various ingredients to their basic essence, money.
3. Great eyesight. Reading teeny-tiny type (about 6 point Ariel on a red background - yes, I checked) makes grocery shopping for someone with a contact lenses prescription as elderly as mine a really frustrating activity. Why is my contact lens 'scrip so old? See #2, supra.
bitch and moan, bitch and moan.....
posted by Leta at
18:16
4 Comments:
The answer is obvious Leta. Have your servants do the shopping, that is what they are for. Thrash them soundly if they mess it up a time or two and they will learn to read the labels properly.
By
Brett, at 17 January, 2006 01:50
Shall we buy you a lorgnette for your next birthday, for that teeny-tiny print? Or would you prefer a monocle? (Compatible w/ your Rx, natch!)
By
Maureen, at 17 January, 2006 04:55
As for the whole eating-salads-in-the-car thing; just make David your chauffeur. Seriously. Problem solved...
By
Casey Jones, at 17 January, 2006 08:27
Oh come on you can eat a salad while you drive. All you have to do is eat it with your fingers. :-)
Ormond
By
Anonymous, at 18 January, 2006 22:33
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