22 November 2005

The Benign and Enlighted Leta Regime

When I am an Empress, I shall walk through my kingdom, no, wait, I guess it would be an empressdom, and I will wave at all the people ......

And there will be a few rule changes. For instance:

1. There will be no Christmas advertising, no Christmas music on the radio, nothing, nothing about Christmas until after December 1st. Those failing to uphold this law will be forced to wear a big, unventilated Easter Bunny suit all summmer long. The suit will have previously been worn by a heavy drinker with a sweating problem. (However, leaving Christmas lights up on the house all year will be acceptable. No point in having to climb up and down ladders twice a year if there's no gutter cleaning to do.)

2. Very simple: Myself is a reflexive pronoun. It is not a subject pronoun or object. Sorry Emily Dickinson.

Other rules will be promulgated as needed, but I heard a Christmas song on the radio today.

5 comments:

Stacey said...

So there we were at DisneyWorld enjoying ourselves. We'd had a lovely Halloween and oohed and ahhhed over the great decorations (see gleefulgecko.com for a great pictures).
On Thursday we went to Animal Kingdom and were amazed by the HUGE Christmas tree out front. It's decorated up in a way that really fits with the park, but... um, the first week of November?
On Friday, we went for a character breakfast and had lots of fun, but were midly disgusted by the Christmas tunes they had on constant rotation. Grandma got runover by a reindeer? Yep. We were still in the Halloween spirit, hardly having eaten any of the pounds and pounds of treats the kids got!
While I don't usually support dictatorships, or monarchies, I would support your efforts to keep Christmas to a reasonable duration, like maybe Advent or something.
I am glad I've never worked in a place where you can't escape Christmas music (despite your own personal religious beliefs) for 2 whole months!!

Brett said...

Amazingly this is a topic I am more liberal in my Empire than Leta is. I allow Christmas music from the Friday after Thanksgiving on. The penalties for violating this are probably harsher in my Empire than in Leta's though.

Stan Harding said...

There will be no Christmas advertising, no Christmas music on the radio, nothing, nothing about Christmas until after December 1st

Sing it, sistah! I was the one at the mall last weekend screaming, "Turn off the effing CHRISTMAS MUSIC!". This is a time for... Copland!

Hjalti said...

You can NOT have my bunny suit!

Maureen said...

I'm with Brett - no Christmas ANYTHING until I've had a chance to digest my Thanksgiving dinner, but I wouldn't require waiting until Dec. 1st. But for pity's sake, NO CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS ALONGSIDE THE HALLOWEEN CANDY AND COSTUMES!!!

That was one of the things I enjoyed about my tour in the Balkans - no Muzak anywhere, just the occasional radio on the PA, so you didn't get sick to death of Christmas music by Dec. 3rd. In fact, New Year's was a bigger deal, and those who observed Christmas did so on the Orthodox calendar (Jan. 7th).