28 January 2005

The F Word and Me

Oh, Lord, set a watch before my lips...

I can go for years and years without using what I call "harsh language." Unfortunately, none of those years have been any time recently. And I'm finding that language inappropriate for the underage crowd seems to slip out before I can catch it. So I'm going to try to clean up a bit. I'm going to emulate some of the teachers I know who, while masters of invective, never use words that would bring the blush of shame to the check of modesty. Obviously, this change won't be immediate. I expect to go through many cycles of "Oh, f- darn" for a while. Optional words of dismay, regret, excitement, etc. may include:

Oh, dear
And of course: tons of bits. I can't give up tons of bits. When my college friend Mary was about 3, her father hammered his thumb. He was making all sorts of untranscibable noises until Mary, who was playing near by, suggested "ton of bits." "What?" "Tons of bits, Daddy. Mommy says it to the vacuum cleaner all the time." So tons of bits stays. If a 3-year-old can use it, so can I.

Other suggestions cheerfully accepted.

And because this is now running through all our heads:

Interjections (Well!) show excitement (Oh!) or emotion (Hey!).
They're generally set apart from a sentence by an exclamation point,
Or a by a comma when the feeling's not as strong.

So when you're happy (Hurray!) or sad (Aw!)
Or frightened (Eeek!) or mad (Rats!)
Or excited (Wow!) or glad (Hey!)
An interjection starts a sentence right.


You're welcome.


Anonymous said...

So I guess that "Snake raping aardvark fondling son of goat sniffer!" is right out then.......


Casey Jones said...

You could always go with acrostics. My two faves in that category: Sugar, Honey, and Iced Tea! Or, Dogs Ate My Neighbor!

There's also a warm spot in my heart for the mumbling of "Sazza Fragga" Don't know exactly where I first heard it, but it's very good.

Leta said...

Brett - Snake raping etc is fine if you don't mind if I use it in front of your son.....

Anonymous said...

Oh, I got "razza frazza ..." from Fred Flintstone. And "rats!" from Peanuts. And I've had people give me funny looks when I mutter "you booger" at some particularly uncooperative or infuriating object. As I had to explain, it started as a joke and became a habit.

My mom has always used "hell's bells", which I rather like. Dad was a sergeant in the Army; not a good source of "polite invective"!

P said...

When Chad and I became uncles, we had to clean up our acts or risk being blamed for a nephew with a lexicon that would impress a platoon of Marines. We now use terms like "what the piggly pooh is that", or "frippity frappity," or, when Daddy's not around, "f$&#ing c#cks&cking horsesh*t."

It should be noted that despite our subterfuge, Jake has not developed a Mouth. Yet.

Anonymous said...

Leta -
Fine by me, be careful around Cate though.....